Cohousing: Communities Where You Can't Not Know Your Neighbors
by Sharon Hamer
How would you like to have three to five meals a week ready for you when you get home from
work? And a safe, enclosed green space for your kids to play in when they get home from
school? And how about indoor playrooms, workshops, craft rooms, a library and music practice
rooms available for free? My family has all of this and more at Cambridge Cohousing in
Cambridge, Massachusetts, right in the middle of the big city. And other families enjoy
these same amenities at Lake Clair Cohousing in Georgia, at Wasatch Commons in Utah, and
in more than 150 other urban, suburban and rural cohousing communities all over the world.
I know the term cohousing might sound weird, as if it refers to a commune or a cult or
something. I was very hesitant when I first began attending cohousing meetings and found
myself surrounded by what looked like a lot of refugees from the 60s. But once I looked
beyond appearances, I found a group of extremely good-hearted, socially and environmentally
conscientious people who wanted to add positive influences to their lives and the lives of
others. I wanted to be counted among them.
So what is a cohousing community?
It is simply a group of homes developed and built by the residents. It is also a community
in which the residents live their lives together. Cambridge Cohousing, for example, is a
41-unit condominium complex for about 65 adults and 30 children. My neighbors and I
constantly share kitchen items, tools, household goods, appliances, babysitting and, most
importantly, information. If my kids have a homework problem that my husband and I can't
answer, we can usually find someone with expertise in geology, poetry, anatomy, sociology or
just about anything else. We have all the privacy we want, and we're never obligated to
participate in any of the offered activities. We attend monthly meetings to help run the
community. We pitch in for common chores, such as lawn mowing and snow shoveling. And we
provide support to neighbors in need, such as taking care of the two toddlers of a mother
who is having a third child or, as happened recently, pitching in to help an older, single
member who broke a hip. Even people who are single love to get to know the families and
find a real sense of home here.
The Common Good
People who choose cohousing want to know their neighbors and have close, supportive
relationships with them. Our yards, patios and decks are usually in the fronts of our homes.
Fences are low or nonexistent. And mail pickup and parking are centralized. We have a large
communal garden, a common house with recreational, craft, and exercise rooms, as well as a
communal living room, kitchen and dining room where we meet, greet and socialize. Families
might contribute toward a steam carpet cleaner, a treadmill or an ice-cream maker that
everyone can use. And best of all, there are separate guest rooms where parents and friends
can stay when they visit.
Then there are the meals. We have three meals a week in which about 30 to 40 people
participate. If you eat, you cook (or clean or shop), but only three times in an eight-week
period. This means that out of 24 meals, I only have to help cook three. The meals range
from macaroni and cheese to grilled salmon or beef braised in beer. There is always peanut
butter and jelly for the kids. And food allergies and dietary restrictions are taken into
account. I work in a school, and it's so wonderful to come home at 3 p.m. knowing that I can
spend time with my kids rather than run around trying to get dinner on the table.
Can you find all this in your neighborhood? Some of you probably can. But the mythological
American neighborhood where everyone knows each other, where moms and dads watch out for all
of the kids, and where people gather for community cookouts and pickup basketball games is
fast disappearing. Cohousing developments try to preserve this sense of community, and so
far, for my family, living in one has been a blast.
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